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A little more poetry…

I thought you were better. I thought you would be there for me. I was wrong. I can’t even write my feelings down without my heart breaking and bleeding out on the table. I am dissipating, I guess the same as our love. What I thought was eternal is only temporary. No love should be temporary. I shouldn’t have to cry because our love left. How can it not exist? What is real? 

I can only rest knowing that I am free. I am unattached. Able to move forward in freedom. Not subjected to second place but liberated by the same One who stood by before. I don’t want to go back, I just want that love in the future. Maybe I’m afraid. Who am I kidding?
It’s taken me this long to write. Too scared to express my feelings, too afraid to sleep. Too scared to reach out to my loves.  It’s the One standing there that scares me, and I’m supposed to be trusting Him. What is this? What do I do with my freedom? Will I ever get that love again? You provide all that, and I’m too afraid to rest in Your embrace.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get what I want. That scares me. Especially when I thought I wanted you.

Published in Poetry


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